It’s one in the morning and the last few days a burning desire to write another blog has been put within me. Though I don’t know the title of this blog quite yet until maybe I’m done writing it. The burning desire to write this blog keeps being one particular thing. Which seems slightly pointless from my own viewpoint as I have written a similar blog at some point but fell back into that sin.
This time it’s different and I can feel it and feel the stirring inside. I’ve waited a few days to see how things got and I keep feeling stirred to write it. For those who may not know for majority of my life I have struggled with the sin of lust. Getting introduced to porn at a young age and being molested by another guy ended up being the root of this long battle. Along with one other thing that will probably be talked about in a video after I end up getting feedback from those I’ve told and those who I am going to tell on this mission trip.
Well anyways for the prompting of this post. I do believe God has radically transformed me yet again with the getting rid of more of the sin of lust. I state this because usually when I go on a streak free from the depths and clutches of pornography I ended up counting how many days I’ve been free from it and eventually falling right back into it. This time around I legit do not remember the last time I indulged my flesh and watched porn and do feel free from the evil clutches of porn. Now back to why I mentioned that God has transformed me yet again. Because of the root of being molested by a guy I ended up being bisexual until the age of 17 when I went to live with my dad in Las Vegas, Nevada. Of course at the time when I was younger I didn’t realize this until I ended up being in Vegas and seeing things differently and seeing things more through the eyes of God (of course I’m still learning and growing in this).
Another reason for this blog is because I realized not only are you who partner with me in prayer and finances partnering with me in going to proclaim the Gospel. You are also partnering with me in staying away from the clutches of porn as I will be living with ministry partners whether outside in a tent or on the floor inside of their home or church or wherever I may be living at. I will also be living in close quarters with my squad and team and not really having much access to wifi unless in public settings like a coffee shop. I’ve been desiring so badly to turn away from pornography forever. I do feel as if I am now completely free from it, being gone for a year overseas however is going to help me even more as I get to learn more on how to keep my eyes focused on Christ and keep seeing the ladies on my squad as I do now, as sisters in Christ and not anything else.
Thus, if you want to stay up to date with what the Lord is doing I encourage you all to subscribe to my blog posts. For those who have known me you know I’m an open book. You also know I do my best to not lie and because I desire for others to know Jesus, you know for a fact all these blogs are going to be nothing but the truth. If you also feel led to donate please do, every little bit helps me stay on the ground to proclaim the Gospel to the nations. I just need $9,500 left to be fully fundraised which is amazing! I state this amazingness because quite often I ended up feeling discouraged not thinking I would be going on this mission trip. I also state this because in February I think I still only had about $3,500 and now have about $9,200 in July (not fully processed yet). By the grace of God and being faithful into what the Lord has called me into I get to launch. I do however still need to bring in that last little bit by the end of November to stay the full year and be completely transformed by God in so many ways.
