Honestly quite a few times I feel like I’m unworthy of being used by God. I feel inadequate and question why God would use me to advance His Kingdom in any capacity. Which in truth, we are unworthy of being used by such a holy God as we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and we live in a fallen world (Romans 5:12). Yet, God still uses us all for His glory. Both the believer and the unbeliever. Sometimes that’s hard to grasp but it’s true. As what one does for evil it can be turned around for good. War breaks out from evil people and then you have people come in to help those in need. Though we live in a fallen world we also have the option (free will) to accept Christ into our lives, when we do this, when we truly confess of our sins and truly repent and truly accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of our life we then enter into the Kingdom of God. We are written in the book of life and receive the Holy Spirit.
I had an instance recently in where I was used by God despite myself feeling inadequate of doing such. After a few of us went to go and grab things needed for youth night we got a bolt and made it back to where we were staying. We still had an hour left of scheduled ministry with who we were partnered with. Even though I honestly didn’t want to go back out and evangelize I decided to go ahead anyways. So I walked with one of my squadmates towards the mall. I then left and did my own thing and walked past an older Romanian gentleman who I felt like I needed to talk to or pray over. Before I went back and talked with him I wrote in Google translate that I don’t know much Romanian but I felt like God wanted me to remind you that He sees you and He loves you. Jesus loves you.
So I went and walked up to the gentleman of which he already has tears in his eyes because there’s something bothering him and I felt like there was something bothering him before I went and showed him the Google translate of what I typed out. When I showed him the translation something shifted and I was able to pray over him. Ended up praying that peace will come to him and depression will leave. After that I left and walked more towards seating areas at restaurants. I then was given another person highlighted to me that I felt like I needed to talk with. I kept walking at first, and then stood awkwardly by myself for a little bit before I went and talked with him. I wanted to wait and see what the Lord had for him in case he didn’t speak English. So I ended up writing down in Google translate that chasing all these vices will get you nowhere. That Jesus is the way, truth and the life. This is paraphrasing what I typed out, it’s the meat of it.
So I walked back and asked if he spoke English, he did and asked me to sit with him. We ended up talking for almost 2 hours. I got to hear some of what he believes. In sum he claims to be gnostic. It’s interesting as well because what I typed up on google translate was truly what this individual seemed to be going through. He explored and searched through all these different ideologies, theories and religions but has always seemed to miss Jesus being the way, truth and life. It shows when he shared with me that he believes God is evil and that Satan and Lucifer are different beings. He asked why I thought that I was supposed to talk with him and I told him I felt like God told me to talk with him, that I believe he was going through something right now and that he was having like a mild depression. He agreed with me in this statement and told me his story. He also told me a few times that he didn’t know why he was opening up to me and telling me these things.
First and foremost everything above, God gets the glory. Now, you may think you’re unworthy to be used by God. You may think you’re inadequate of doing something great or wild. Honestly that’s a lie from the enemy. God can use you in any capacity small or big and no matter what level it is, it will be great in His eyes. For the believer in Christ, continue to seek after the Lord. Continue to step out in boldness, continue to be set apart from the world. Continue to be the salt and the light to this world. To the unbeliever I pray that you come to Christ. I pray that you will be so totally transformed that people see Christ in you.
