Debrief by the Sea

Well well well.. here we are again. Man do I have some powerful stuff to tell you. To begin with my travel day to Albania from Romania was quite interesting. As we passed through Bulgaria and North Macedonia to get to Albania only the country of Bulgaria stamped my passport. In North Macedonia they asked where I was heading, told them Albania and they handed me back my passport without a stamp. As we entered Albania they just had the bus drivers hand them the passports while we stayed on the bus and mine wasn’t stamped. So there may be a good chance of possibly writing a blog about struggling to leave Albania. Though it might not happen, and I only say this because one owner of a restaurant cooked pig for us just because we are Americans (plus one Canadian). Another owner bought bananas and served a banana dessert to some of my squad for free. 

Anyways, we got to Albania at our destination late into the night at almost 11pm, slept and soon awoke the next day for training on the characteristics of God, spiritual gifts, the Holy Spirit and supernatural warfare. One of the days the night ended with a teaching on supernatural warfare. The following day is what blew me away and broke down barriers and walls that were built up for all of us. The day started with worshipping, praying to the Lord and resting in the Lord. Which soon led to one of the guys (Anthony- who’s a wise man of God) being the first to step into that boldness. Being the first to step into confessing and repenting to the ladies on the squad for objectifying women and for the strongholds of pornography that were once on him. I was one of the guys who also confessed and repented because of my pornography addiction and objectifying of women (that I declare and believe is no longer there because of the blood of Jesus and the process of sanctification). Soon the guys got in the middle of a circle for the ladies to pray over us and declare great things over us. It was then switched where the ladies confessed and repented as well and the guys then prayed over the ladies.

After all this vulnerability happened more vulnerability happened by us going out to the sea to wash one another’s feet. Which then led to people being baptized. Most of us got baptized (both for some as giving it all to Jesus or re-dedication and for them and others because of everyone confessing to one another. To feel afresh and new in the Spirit). I got baptized again for various reasons. As it was confirmed by the Lord to do so through a vision I had, me feeling stirred to ask my team to baptize me, and then someone ending up saying that they feel like the Lord was saying to them that someone wanted to be baptized by their team. Just a lot of breakthrough and vulnerability. First time I confessed and repented of my sin to a ton of ladies in a room with other guys.

Now debrief. Debrief was about rest with a few teachings. One of which was on peace. Which was very helpful. We were given 12 tips on how to have peace. Some of which I for sure know I need help with. Others I need slight help with. One of them stook out the most, and is much needed for western society as we tend to be so on the go and may seem rushed. This one was to give self extra time to transition from one activity to the other.

The final night however I felt unwanted and hurt. I ended up letting the lie of satan get the best of me. I went to the sea for a one on one (talk about Romania, how things have been and how I been feeling) and as I approached two of my squad mates their body language made me think and feel unwanted (turns out they were just having a “not for me to hear” conversation, I later realized through clarification with one of them). I also felt like I was unwanted when I asked one squad mate if they were out to eat for dinner. They said they were and with a certain amount of people. I asked if I could join and the individual said that they all just ordered. From my own experiences and the verbage of it I felt unwanted (I soon found out later this wasn’t the case). So because of how I was feeling I decided to purposely not go down for worship and session of final debrief to see if anyone would notice me not being there (and I kind of fell asleep as well). It took about an hour until someone reached out (and you guessed it, I soon found out later this was not the case as some thought I was running late from dinner or was outside worshipping the Lord with others as music filled the air). Soon my squad mate Lee came in to check on me. His genuine heartbreak over me because of how I was feeling broke my heart (Lee has such an authentic caring soul). I eventually went downstairs to join everyone at the end. My squad mentor Ari (such a caring woman of God. Her willingness to be open with the squad and come alongside all 30+ of us is remarkable) soon saw me and asked what’s going on.

I slowly told her and she prayed over me as well. Before the night ended one of my other squad mates Madison (married to Isaak- another squad mate. And man they are a powerhouse couple. Their profound words and wisdom leaves me speechless. Their prayers are mighty and powerful) said she felt like the Lord was wanting the squad to pray healing over someone. I looked at Ari who was looking at me and laughed. I looked at Lee who was looking at me and laughed. I did this because I knew it was for me. But I’ve been asking God in my heart and in my spirit to give me more confirmations leading up to it all. So God has been using Joanne (the amazing Canadian who listens and speaks out in obedience to what the Lord is saying) quite a bit for that. She’s the reason I spoke up about being baptized by my team. She too spoke up in this moment and said she had been feeling the same way as I did.

Thus, the squad prayed over Joanne and myself. After the prayers I was soon prayed over by Sav (another amazing woman of God, who listens to the Lord and is caring and tender hearted. She’s been stepping out into boldness) who prayed over me because she saw an image of suicide. She obeyed God and prayed over that to leave me as I in fact have dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past and even had a slight thought about it on Sabbath during debrief. Which I ended up receiving counseling for and I’m very thankful and grateful I get to stay on the field.

It’s wild what the Lord is doing in me, through me and around me. Also if you haven’t noticed I’ll be highlighting my squad mates throughout the year as well as I write what the Lord is doing. Bringing forth some of their amazing gifts, talents and showing you their growth as well as mine along the way. Stay tuned for the next blog where I’ll be talking about boldness happening in Albania.